A Flower for the Lord

Plum blossom or “Mei hwa” is one of the most beloved flowers in China. It is said that it blooms more beautiful during winter; something the Chinese people sees as meaningful and worthy enough to represent their culture. During times of turmoil, the political, economic, and social struggles they have endured, the Chinese people hold steadfast to their belief, preserved their culture, have persevered and remained strong as a nation a midst all adversities just like the plum blossom – beautiful even a midst the cold winter. Thus this lovely flower came to symbolize perseverance, hope, strength, and resilience to China.

My father is a Chinese while my mother is half-Chinese. My father gave me the name “Shue Mei”. “Shue” means ice or snow and “Mei” is the plum blossom flower of China or “Mei hwa.” Mother said I was given this name because I cried a lot when I was a baby, which honestly back then, I couldn’t see the relationship between the flower in the snow and of that being a crying baby. But as the years went by I finally realized how my name would influence my life.

Actually, there is nothing remarkable in my life. I came from a poor family. Like everyone else, I also have my share of painful experiences. And although my trials & difficulties were shaped as ordinary as those of other people who have went through the same trials, it is how I understood them that make them extraordinary and very special for I look at my trials, pain, and difficulties as stairs that would lead me closer to the God whom I have longed to know, to serve, and to love. I have survived many storms in my life and only because the Lord have always been merciful to me.

From all the sufferings and pain I have experienced, I have come to believe that there is a God who sees everything, who knows everything and who alone understands my innermost feelings, my pain, my struggles, even my anger and bitterness. I have also learned that God, through my weaknesses, can manifest Himself so easily and clearly that I can rest peacefully in His arms knowing He is in control. And it is also during these times of difficulties that I can be closer to Him than I can imagine with all my vulnerabilities, shame, and guilt laid down; that I can have intimate moments with Him; that I can pour out to Him at will everything that burdens my heart. He will not speak until I have worn out myself from crying out my heart and soul to Him. He loves me that much to allow me to speak freely to Him without fear. And when silence moves in - God speaks. He speaks through the things I see every day – the swaying of the leaves in the cool morning breeze that seems to be praising the Lord in thanksgiving for a beautiful day, the chirping of the birds flying gracefully in the air as if spreading the good news of His provision, the light of the morning sun that seems to radiate hope, the stillness of the night that seems to whisper God’s offer of rest,  the warmth of my husband’s embrace and the sweetness of my children’s affection that seem to speak of God’s unfathomable love and care, the simple text messages from true friends that brings His assurance that I am not alone, and the music, yes, the music - the songs God has put in my heart and in my mind that seem to echo of His ever-presence in my life. Will all these not make me sing passionately then for my God?

My faith, tested many times through trials and sufferings, has remained anchored in one thing and one thing only – His Word. No other power has kept me alive all these years except the word of God. As air is vital to my body so is His Word vital to my soul, my mind, and my heart. It has touched my soul and now it desires to be united with Him. It has pierced my mind and now it yearns to know Him more. It has melted my heart and now it longs to be warmed by Him and by Him alone.

I am not the flower in the snow but my life is. For who am I to be compared to such loveliness? My life is the flower in the snow. My life, sustained by the graces of the Lord, by His mercy and compassion, by His unconditional love, by His living Word, was able to survive the winter, and will continue to survive in the many winters to come all because of God. And if ever I would breathe my last here on Earth I would love to offer my life, this flower that have remained beautiful a midst the cold winter, to the Lord, my God.